Many a
times when life gets busy and tiresome, when nothing seems to go the way you
wish it to, when the friendships you made with so much effort seem to fall
apart, you tend to end up thinking that maybe you are not worthy of love and
care. It is at these times of despair that revisiting the place and the people
who made you feel loved, cared for and confident helps. If you are like this
author, that is, your school is the greatest love of your life, then I think it
is best to revisit that place where it all began once in a while. This is because
your seemingly crazy physics teacher there might actually help you rediscover
that “crank pot” inside yourself, whom you seem to have lost in today’s
work-a-day world.
But even revisits
can be painful when you find that many of the familiar faces are gone, the
familiar class rooms and the open corridors where you used to run around with
the all-important “Class Diary” to get it signed by teachers have now been remodeled.
The terrace where you used to feed croissant to birds, the old color coding of
the floors, and your beloved Primary school building which looked like it was
right of a world of fairy tales are now gone. Things change with time but some
things remain the same, like your fear of seeing your old mathematics teacher whose
famous dialogue was “This is hundred per cent wrong” and feeling the same old
fear gripping at your heart. So much so that you are ready to scoot after
talking to him for two minutes.
When one
revisits school after years one also has the privilege of giving a cold
shoulder to teachers who made life seem hellish back then, without having to
face any consequences. Trust me, no matter what the books say, certain teachers
cannot and should not be forgiven for the trauma they give you and when you
finally get to walk away without having to stare back even when they stare at
you, it is like a dream-come-true moment, as you finally tell your old teenage
self, “We had our revenge today.”
While your
eyes search for that familiar, formidable grey-haired lady who was always ready
with her slaps, nothing seems sweeter than when you hear from your other
teacher, “You miss her right? We do too.” You get to pacify your teacher whose
son is not being able to score well in his internal assessments at med school
by telling her that these exams are not important and MB is all that matters,
and it is not that difficult to pass that exam, while hiding the fact that there
is a very good chance that her son or you yourself might not pass this year.
Many a
times in day-to-day life at med school you feel that you have changed so much
from what you were back at school, in the pre-NEET era, and you regret some of
the changes your personality suffered. So, when you get back to school and your
teacher tells you, “You are the same old X (replace with your name), you have
not changed at all”, you are not sure what to feel- happiness for being the
same person to your teachers or guilt, knowing that what she thinks is not true.
It is this thought that you keep thinking as you exit the school premises with
the mental note to come back again next year, probably for one last time.
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