Do you feel honored?

 

MBBS comes with many woes but probably our annual examinations, the dreaded MB exams are the greatest woe of all. It tests the patience and toughness of even the most determined pupil and the knowledge and cramming-capacity of the most studious medico.

These exams are basically of 300 marks total with 100 marks each for the 2 theory papers and 100 marks for practical. The exam routines are made to drive the students to the point of insanity and back (not claiming that we medicos are not insane as it is). The exam dates are generally back-to-back with no or a single day of study leave in between. Thus, the last 2 weeks before exams bring out the serious student even in the most happy-go-lucky person.

The exams end with all of us being relieved and dog- tired, followed by a couple of fun outings with friends and several weeks of making up on all the lost sleep. However, this relief lasts only a precious couple of days. This is followed by a phase of post exam traumatic dreams (where we end up failing in every exam) and the seemingly endless wait for results. After days of prayers and several false alarms, one fine day, the results get declared out of the blue, when one least expects it and of course the day doesn’t remain fine for most of us after that.

Students are of various types, each with their own hopes and aspirations, their own expectations. For some even the pass marks seem like a lot to be thankful for, while for others even a seemingly huge score might fail to meet their expectations. Each category of students remains awed by the thoughts of the other group.

The word “expectations” is the one which creates all this difference. We face the pressure of expectations from family, friends, relatives, teachers and also maybe the next-door nosy aunty. But nothing quite equals the expectations we have from ourselves, meeting or not meeting these expectations decides our happiness or disappointment. So don’t be irritated by the studious kid who has apparently received a great score but is still unhappy and don’t ridicule the back-bencher who goes out partying after barely managing to pass, its all a matter of expectations.

So, its okay to feel sad and angry even after hearing the well-known advice: “It is the application of knowledge that, matters in the field of medicine. At the end of the day, you have to cure patients.” Its okay to keep your phone switched off or stay away from social media if you feel low seeing the so-called “successful” people around you, its okay if you have a breakdown seeing an “F” in your paper. We are all humans after all.

What then, is the way to get out of this mess? To feel yourself again? Just like our expectations our cope up mechanisms also vary. Some people like to spend some lone time, some like to rant and cry in front of friends while some might prefer to gorge on some biriyani to forget disappointment. Universally though, it is important to remember: “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light”. For someone, occasional rantings in a meaningless blog turned out to be the source of light. What’s your source of light?