The day we
step into college, we are full of hopes and dreams, most of us that is. We feel
that we can really achieve almost anything, life seems exciting and full of
possibilities. New acquaintances are made, phone numbers are exchanged, the
members of the WhatsApp group we make on the day of counselling finally get to
meet in person. The air is exhilarating.
For our
batch however we were trapped at home due to COVID lockdown for a long time and
most of our theory classes had to be conducted online. But when the lockdown
was lifted briefly before the Second wave of COVID we too got to have our
“First day”, which I am happy to inform seemed as wonderful as it should have,
if not more. We were elated to finally step into the college we worked so hard
to get into.
But slowly
as the lockdown was getting lifted in phases, we got the actual taste of
college life, which is kind of like Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Beans from
Harry Potter. For those who are not aware what I am referring to, these beans
include delicious flavors like chocolate and caramel, but they also include
unpalatable ones like vomit or earwax flavors. What you end up getting, depends
on luck!
Some days
when we finally understand a difficult concept, when we learn some new
practical skill and master it or have fun outing with friends, college life
seems beautiful, perfect even. But there are other days when we feel we are far
behind everyone else in class, feel homesick in hostel, face rejections or when
results come out and our expectations are shattered. Then, we end up feeling
irritated, depressed and trapped. Questions like “What if I am not cut out for
this field?”, “What if I fail the upcoming examinations?” or “What will people
think of me, am I not mature enough to be an adult?” start crossing our minds.
At times we really want to talk it out with someone, but mostly we are afraid
to share things with family fearing lack of understanding, college friends
mostly have their own shit show to deal with and even school friends seem way
too far away. We suddenly become completely alone in a sea of people.
But on
these days, one must remember to tell themselves: “I am fine, I will get there.
Things will be better in future and even if they are not, I can deal with
them”. No matter how low you feel seeing your friend answering every question
in class on a topic you know nothing about, no matter how bad your semester
results are, no matter how much scolding you got from your professor for
auscultating apex beat on the right side, always remember that if everyone else
can do it, you also can, maybe you just need more time or a different method.
And on the
other days, remember to be a bit more compassionate and understanding. Stop
before labelling someone as “Boring” or “Lazy”. Stop before spreading gossip
about people without regard to their feelings (though it might be difficult to
stop considering the fact that other than Fest or sports events, people don’t
have much to entertain themselves with at med-school, except for college
gossip). Always remember to hold a hand when it reaches out to you for help.
You never know, maybe you are the last straw of support for someone.
It is
during this uneven, bitter-sweet journey that friendships are made and broken,
love blooms and withers and once-carefree teenagers become saviors in white
coats.
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