We call this place our home

 

Finding love or friendship at med school is not as easy as portrayed by movies or social media. This is because just like testicular cancer, love is mostly one-sided. But one thing that eventually develops in the hearts of all medicos, other than perennial self-reproach and depression, is the undying love for the college which prepares them to face the burdensome responsibilities that come after donning the white coat. This love is subtle and develops day by day with increasing familiarity. Unlike a crush for a handsome senior, this Love does not make butterflies flutter in your belly, or light up your day, it is more like the warm hug of your old shawl on a winter morning.

After several years of bitter sweet experiences in the same college campus it becomes even more dear to us. From the department corridors lined by professors’ offices which continuously remind us about traumatizing viva experiences to the familiar stench of the dead bodies in the morgue, everything brings a sense of belonging.  With time one learns to see their everyday experiences with a new light- the good old library becomes even more beloved, and the giant, ancient trees which have seen so many lovers hold each other in loving embrace or break up bitterly seem like old loving grandfathers.

When our college celebrated its 150^th year, we got to see this ancient institution through the eyes of its alumni and one thing became clear- Time changes, situations change but the love which budding doctors have for their rusty old colleges with hospitals full of germs, filth and diseases remains the same over generations. The dirty wards, the old buildings or the pavements full of patients’ families in waiting might seem unappealing to some but to the medicos this image seems like home. When these same old buildings dress up with fairy lights for festivities, they look beautiful in a simple and quintessential way.

Photo courtesy: Shuvojyoti Rakshit

As one watches old college friends reuniting in the old college campus one dreams of the day when she can come back to this same place as an alumnus and meet the same group which surrounds her today. Maybe even share a meal or watch an energetic concert together. But after the celebration ends, the decorations come down and the sound of the happy banter gets replaced by silence, the college campus seems to grieve the loss like an old woman who just said goodbye to her grown up kids. It is then that the reunion dream seems like wishful thinking and one remembers the assignments due next day with a heavy heart.

With all the hardships med school offers, with the lack of real close friends in most of our lives one wonders why this place becomes so dear to them. Its simple really. One not only ends up loving the place one had sweet experiences in, but also loves the place which saw the worst days of her life and helped her grow as a person. Also, maybe we do not always find what we wish for in college friends but the people whom we share these hardships or these joys with become special to us in some way or the other. College becomes home.

At the end this author is reminded of a couple of lines from a famous song called “North” which probably sums up the emotion med students have for their newfound home:

“Let the years we're here be kind, be kind

Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide

Settle our bones like wood over time, over time

Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine”